we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Still dying that you shit outside
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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