So drunk its hurt
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
