i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize