I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
