but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
