He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
