Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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