She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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