i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
