just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
