evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
