Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
