Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
