wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
