Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You are a genius and a whore.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
