It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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