you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
