You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
