my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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