? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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