My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
