i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
