I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
