Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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