The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
