Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
