There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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