I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
