You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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