I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
