The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
