I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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