Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize