There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
