Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
