Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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