So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
