Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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