O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
MIDGETS
????
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
