I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
