the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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