I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
