Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
