I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
