Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
