hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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