Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We're facebook friends in real life
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
