I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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