You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
