My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
