party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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