I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
