New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
